Our Gilded Actions
by JazzStick
Summary: The lingering sadness he feels about losing his father finally rears its ugly head, affecting Hiccup in his day to day life as the new chief of Berk. A one-off!


Down at the pier, his feet hanging into the brisk waters and kicking the small ripples back deeper into the sea as they came to him, sat the poor boy as he lost himself in deep thought. He reminisced a great number of things, ranging from his time he had spent with his father, up until that last and terrible moment he had saved him from a terribly gruesome fate.

Boom.

He shuddered and clenched the boards of the pier tightly, diverting his foolishly self-wrought pain down and into the palms of his hands, hoping the boards would creak in some manner of protest. He wasn't strong, not like his father. Not on his own, anyway. He'd always needed the help of others, and, as it turned out, the others needed him as well.

Tears welled behind the shut lids of his eyes, it wouldn't do for the village to see him like this. He was the new chief, after all. What kind of leader would still mourn their father an entire week after his passing? One that wasn't very Viking like, though Hiccup certainly wasn't known for having a Viking's attributes.

It hadn't been until today, though, that he had truly begun to crack—the walls of his mind beginning to give way under the duress of his sadness. He had been in the middle of a council meeting, convening with all the elders about the situation of the ice, what to do about repairs, and the possibility of Drago returning with the tormented Bewilderbeast, when Gobber had called it short and pulled him aside.

"Hiccup, I know it's tough, but you can't go and tear up in front of the elders, now. Dragon tamer prodigy, or not." Gobber had said. He'd been blunt, but his face was filled with sympathy while he said it.

But Hiccup was confused—he hadn't even realized he'd been crying. He lifted his hands and felt the warm wetness of tears upon his cheek, feeling the sleekness of the salty water as he rubbed it between his fingertips. It was only then that it truly hit him how much pain he was keeping choked down, all for the sake of Berk and its people.

"How about I deal with today's meeting and you get your head straightened out. Rest up, Chief." He said while patting his back. Hiccup supposed it would be endearing, but all he felt was numbness spreading out within him. Blackness was fast encroaching upon his heart and mind in his father's absence, and it was unacceptable.

He kicked, jerking his mind back from the past as the cold droplets landed with rippling splashes in front of him. Today could've been a beautiful day, he thought, as he looked upon the vast blueness of the ocean and sky, where they both connected at the center of the horizon as if to mirror each other. Today wasn't beautiful, though. He wouldn't allow it to be. He thought of nothing as he stared out into the deep blue expanse, mind as blank as the cloudless sky. He could've gone on like that forever, content enough with a mind devoid of thought; no emotions would surprise him from there.

As fate would have it though, Hiccup felt the warmness of a hand placed upon the nape of his neck.

It was a smallish hand, compared to most Vikings anyway, but the softness and electricity that flowed through that one point of his body was a relief he didn't know he needed. He turned, his eyes mostly shut to hide how red and puffy he thought they probably were. Even like this, however, he couldn't mistake the beautiful golden rays of sunlight that fell from the face of this woman who consoled him. The woman whose eyes he could picture even in the void of his mind, just by the very way they sparkled like ice upon the ocean during high sun.

Astrid was stunning no matter the situation, it seemed.

"Hey, Hiccup." She cooed at him. The sound of her voice was soothing, not at all rough like he knew she could be. She removed his hand from his neck, and he felt the warmth begrudgingly part from his body.

He silently cursed.

"Gobber said you … uh …" She trailed a moment. It was cute, he thought. She was trying to keep his honor intact even after he'd pretty much resigned it for the day.

"That I had a breakdown?" He replied. His own voice had startled him. It was far hoarser than it should've been, as if he'd been gargling fish bones. Mentally sighing, he knew she'd think he'd done more than just shed a few tears with a raspy voice like that.

But she said nothing, and he grew tense at the silence. He didn't dare open his eyes and look, to see what was going on. He just waited for the longest moment, thinking she had walked off and left him to his own devices because of the confession. He turned away.

But then, the wooden boards croaked with a shifting weight, and she had sat down next to him. She pressed herself against his shoulder, placing her hand on top of his that lay upon the boards. The warmth returned.

Silently he praised it.

"I thought it was strange—that you hadn't talked to me about it, I mean." She began.

"A lot happened that day." She tightened her fingers.

"I mean, I didn't know how we were going to make it back! I'd grown so used to Stormfly being at my side that I felt completely lost when she was gone." She looked away, her hand still tightly wound around his.

"But you," she chuckled, turning to him, "knew exactly what to do, and how to do it, too. You were so calm in the face of it all." She lowered her voice, thinking back to that day.

"I had to punish myself for getting so upset, for feeling so lost." She took her other hand, and brought it to Hiccups chin. Gently, she turned his face until she was looking at the lids of his eyes. Stubborn, she thought, that he wouldn't open them yet.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, Hiccup. To be able to carry on after losing someone you loved like that. To save Berk." She placed the hand from his chin on top of her other, both resting upon his own as she leaned into the space of his warm breath. They were only a few inches apart now, but she wasn't looking at him anymore; she was looking down at their hands.

She squeezed ever so lightly.

"The day you fought the Red Death, that moment after you fell from the sky…" she trailed, squeezing his hand just a little bit harder.

"All I saw was a streak of flame." She finally finished.

"There were so many thoughts racing through my mind. I kept telling myself you were okay." Her voice was serene, as clear as the sky above them.

"But then…" the voice cracked, no longer the picture of tranquility it painted in Hiccup's mind.

"But then you weren't." She gasped the words, as if saying them was putting her through the throes of a chaotic pain.

"I mean, I've lost family before. Lost them to the dragons, to sickness, and even to people." Her words were like casualties of war, painful yet impossible to avoid.

"But you," she breathed, "losing you was more than I could deal with." She said, much to his utter confusion. She wasn't making any sense to him now, the gravity of that old memory was forever lost to him in the blankets of his subconscious, buried beneath ash and the wings of a Night Fury.

"I thought you had left us—left me! I thought … that I had lost you. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt…" The words left her slowly and painfully, floating along on the wind, defeated. Hiccup was astounded at her confession; it wasn't like Astrid to confide in him like this.

"So … even if it was only for a moment, I know what it's like … to lose someone you can't live without."

Then, he froze. The sensation of a shocking wetness had raced up his arm. It was an unmistakable kind of wetness that Hiccup knew all too well, and this girl, who had never been anything other than a rock all his life, had made it. He threw his eyes open, taking in only the sight of her hair. She had dropped her gaze to the ground, eyes still tightly clenched as she held his hand, a drop of water resting on the crook of skin between his thumb and palm.

"I never knew you felt that way. For so long, too." He said, the hoarseness of his voice having cleared. His mind, his sadness, his sorrow: it all felt so silly now to think it was only him that had to bear it.

She looked up, her face scrunched into a ball of wrinkles and tears, eyes red and puffy. She rubbed her eyes.

"Huh. I came here to help you," her breath wheezed in-between words as she fought to keep down the sobs, "but I think I'm doing more damage." She dropped her gaze again. Or at least she would have. Hiccup had freed his hands from hers, and used them to cup her face from both sides, pressing them against her damp cheeks.

He closed the distance, and brought his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly.

"You helped plenty." He said, a smile on both his face and in his eyes. He then took his arms and wrapped them around her, deeply embracing her with all of his warmth and security.

She really had helped, he thought. Just not in the way she'd so obviously set out to do. It was a rare event to see her so vulnerable, something that had never happened, and it made him realize how silly he was being. All the while she was buried in his grasp, she sat there, eyes wide at how much she'd just let slip.

With a cough, she returned the hug, "You're welcome, I guess." She finished with a slight, disbelieving chuckle.

Hiccup felt himself again, all because of that one tear that had fallen on his hand. He may have lost his father, but he had gained a new experience in his life that he would honor always: the selfless sacrifice Stoick had given him, and the final example of both a good chief, and a great father. With a satisfied sigh, he cast his gaze upon Astrid, who was still drying her face. The color of her hair blended in with the now reddening sky as dusk began to approach.

It was a beautiful day, after all.

~~Fin~~

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 **Hey guys! This story was mostly for me to test the waters of writing HTTYD fiction. If you guys have any criticisms about how I wrote this one-off (its short because I didn't feel it necessary to go in depth about things the audience generally already knows or assumes) I would gladly appreciate the feedback!**

 **I've been brainstorming ideas for awhile now, racking my brain for an original concept, but alas, this community has some amazing talent and creativity; I'll probably end up putting my own spin on an idea that's technically already been done. Oh well! Whatever it is, it will certainly contain some Hiccstrid-I'm an absolute sucker for romance.**

 **"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." -Aristotle**


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